The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
