i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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