a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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