"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
