i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
