I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
