I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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