Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
