This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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