I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
