Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
