my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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