Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
