I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I understand Curling. That high.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
