Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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