If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize