I should be sponsored by Trojan
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
