Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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