so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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