You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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