If i come over, it means nothing
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
