scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
