He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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