so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
