I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
