one word: firstdatebathroomanal
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
