is your mom at the bar?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
