I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
