i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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