Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
