I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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