Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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