dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Green mimosas i think yes
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
