Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
