Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
