He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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