Screwed.edu
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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