I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
