I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
