Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
