We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
How external is "for external use only"?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
