I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
