well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
