paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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