your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
