i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
