I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
