if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Send help, water and tortillas.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
