i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
