how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
