he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
