there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You have to summon your inner elephant
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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