Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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