Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
