i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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