I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?â€
Randomize
