wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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