So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So much rum. So many feels.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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